I have always preferred submissive men over other men. I am attracted to submissive women too (I am bisexual). But I’m focusing this post on submissive men because so many of them find it hard to believe that a woman would like their submissive qualities.
From a young age I have been drawn to shy boys, who have sweet and bashful behavior. Nervous to start a conversation, they would let me lead. Shy boys listened with their full attention and never talked over me. They always seemed grateful to receive my attention. This evolved into my attraction to shy, submissive men. The dynamic we develop is always satisfying, special, intense. I have also dated men who are vanilla, respectful, kind, but I prefer submissive men. I do not go for dominant men or alpha men. I’m just not into that. I like being with men who know how to submit.
“He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
When I meet people outside of the kink world, they sometimes do not understand. They ask if I just “play” with subs, but go for dominant men for an actual relationship (the answer is no). People ask if I get tired of needing to be the boss in the relationship (no, never, I love being the boss). Sometimes people ask if it feels unnatural (definitely not). Why do I like submissive men? Why do I like have total respect and attention from someone who places my needs and desires first? It’s easy to answer.
Submissive Traits
Submission is deeply tied to respect for me. I see my self very highly and I don’t get along with people who try to limit my power. Submissive don’t talk over me, go against my decisions or try to control the situation we’re in. They are comfortable letting me decide, and trust my decisions. They don’t try to steer me or try to interfere with my desires. Submissive men admire and appreciate my self-assuredness without feeling threatened by it. They don’t limit my power, but rather feed it.
Many of the submissive men I have known are giving. I mean giving in a true sense – that they like to give and don’t expect something in return as a transaction. They don’t think that since they’ve done something for me, I now owe them. Unfortunately that kind of entitlement comes up sometimes in vanilla dynamics. (i.e I gave you a massage so now you owe me sex.) A submissive man wants to please me without a hidden agenda. If we see each other in person, if we have a long distance dynamic, they are ready to serve.
The D/s Dynamic
In a healthy D/s dynamic everyone wins. I wrote a post on how D/s dynamics are about having a good time, not taking out anger on someone. The submissive who wants to give up control enjoys being under my power. I as a Domme demand exactly what I want and know that someone is happy to give it to me. Submissive men who just want to make me happy immediately charm me. There’s no appeal in forcing someone to massage me. I like seeing a submissive man eager to massage me. A submissive man will offer, hope for, or beg to massage me. He won’t see it as a chore.
A D/s dynamic is very direct. I can ask for exactly what or give very detailed instructions. There is also an element of emotional honesty. I find it strange when someone really likes me but tries to hide it, or downplay it. This usually happens in vanilla contexts with men who refuse to admit their strong feelings for me, even when it’s obvious that they have them. Submissive men don’t hide how much they appreciate me.
I also enjoy the extreme aspects of D/s dynamics as well – humiliation, degradation, sadism, brainwashing. People outside of kink misunderstand these things as cruel acts, when in reality they’re just really stimulating, hot, intimate. We both get to have an intense experience that we enjoy in our own ways. I have a hunger for stimulation in all aspects of my life, including human relationships.
Hypnosis with Submissive Men
Using hypnosis to get right down to someone’s innermost secrets, flaws, and desires is fulfilling for me. I don’t like to stay in small talk zone for long and know people superficially. Unfortunately many people close themselves off from talking about the deeper parts of life. Getting deep into someone’s mind to brainwash them is intimate and exposing. I cut through all the outer layers of small talk and distance and get to the core of human experience.
Domination of Submissive Men
It can be hard to explain sadism and humiliation to someone who doesn’t like it. To me, seeing a man on his knees for me is much more intimate than kissing or hugging. Seeing a man do humiliating, vulnerable things to please me moves me more than a man trying to impress me through showing off. Submissive behaviors charm me and catch my attention. Why do I like submissive men? Submissive men fuel my power instead of fighting against it. They entertain, amuse and please me. They respect me on every level and put my desires first. Why wouldn’t I like submissive men?
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