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How to beg in a D/s dynamic

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Begging can be a great display of devotion, desperation and submission. If you’ve read my other post Why I like Submissive Men you already know that I love open and honest devotion. Any submissive can learn the art of begging, even shy or inexpressive people. If you’re doing your best at begging, your Domme will be satisfied with you and you may even earn new privileges. If you beg to kiss my foot or to have an orgasm you will likely earn it if you do a good job begging. I’ve outlined a few styles of begging below. You might lean towards one begging style more than others. Give them all a try, and see what your Dominant responds to most. And most importantly, have fun.

A brief disclaimer: begging is something you do when you already have an established D/s dynamic. You should not beg a Domme to dominate you when you first meet her, it’s not polite. To learn how to approach dominant women, read my post on how to contact Dommes on fetlife.

When Should You Beg?

When is the right time to beg? This will vary from Domme to Domme. For me – I will say this. First off, if I tell you to beg for something, I mean it. Beg for it. Another way to know is to see if I am challenging you. I’ll use a “challenging phrase”:

“Oh you really want this? You want to have an orgasm? Are you sure?”

“You’re so desperate to be pegged. Do you really want it? You want this dildo in your ass?”

These kinds of phrases are a bit of a test. I’m teasing you and dangling the thing you want in front of you. If you want to get it, beg for it. The only time begging is obviously off limits, is if I say no. To me the word “no” is not a flexible word. If I say “no” that’s not an invitation to beg harder. The invitation to beg harder are “challenging phrases”. They usually come in the form of questions that tease you and elicit a stronger response.

With other Dommes, when in doubt, just ask. Ask “do you like it when I beg?” and you will have an answer.

Get into the Position

Get on the floor, look up at me and put on your most devoted, submissive face. Begging is about acknowledging that my wish is your command. If you’re communicating as if we are on an equal level, the begging won’t work. To beg me for something shows that I have control over what you get or don’t get. If you’re begging for an orgasm you admit that you I have control over your orgasm. If you’re begging to be gagged, you admit that your gagging privileges are up to me. Kiss each of my feet. Then bow to me, and start begging.

Devoted Begging

One way to beg is to do it with reverence and devotion. If you’re not very emotionally expressive, this is probably the style for you. In this style, you maintain a steady and calm composure as you beg. You look up at me and show me with careful attention, that you are devoted to me. On the floor, you may kiss my feet and speak up to me. Words like “honor” and “privilege” are great words to use, since they are displays of adoration.

“Goddess may I massage your feet? It would be my honor to massage them. It would mean so much to me.”

“I just want to serve you in any way. It would be such a privilege if I got to massage your feet. Will you allow me to massage them?”

Being at your service is so wonderful. Anything I can do to please you is my goal. Please may I have the honor of massaging you?”

I might not say yes right away. In these scenarios I like to turn up the intensity of the begging. I might say, “really, do you really want to?” It’s like a small test of devotion. Prove to me that you’re fully focused on serving me by begging. Then I might say “hmm maybe, it’s possible.” This is a cue to keep begging. In case you miss the cue, I’ll probably say “hmmm maybe, if you beg for it.” The goal is to show me just how much you want this. Finally when you’ve shown me your devotion, you will get what you want.

Passionate Begging

Passionate begging is more emotionally intensive and desperate. In this case you can let yourself fall into the strong feelings of submission swirling inside you. If you feel that you’re under my spell, addicted to my presence, you can express this. First, kiss my feet with passion, over and over again with fervor. Let yourself get desperate and unhinged. Show me just how addicted you are to my control. For example, use phrases like this:

“Please please Goddess. I’ll do anything for the chance to massage your feet. Please, I’m so desperate. I’ll do anything to massage them. I’m begging you!”

“Goddess, I am so addicted to your presence. I love your feet so much. I love pleasing you in any way. Please allow me to massage your feet. Please, please please, Goddess!”

Alternate between kissing my feet, begging, and bowing your head to my feet. I might enjoy lingering here, in this moment for a while before granting permission. This is because I love seeding addiction in my subs. I seeing the intensity in my subs growing and growing. When I’m ready to say yes I will say it. “Yes you are allowed to” or “yes you may do it.

Covert Begging

It is possible to beg your Domme for something in a public place. I call this covert begging. In this case, you don’t get on the floor, but you show your devotion in another way. Take my hand and kiss it lightly. Show to me that you are my submissive, no matter where we are. Put on your most devoted, submissive face. Hold my hand, look me in the eye and speak in a low voice. In this case, since you are not on the floor, you really need to communicate with your eyes and face. Get close to me so I can hear your voice in it’s totality. You can even whisper-beg.

“Please Goddess, please may I carry your purse? I would feel so honored to be useful to you. Please.”

I might not say yes right away. In these scenarios I like to turn up the intensity of the begging. I might say, “really, do you really want to?” It’s like a small test of devotion. Prove to me that you’re fully focused on serving me by begging.

A good answer to the question is “Yes, Goddess. It would be such an honor. I really want to carry it, please allow me to carry it.”

In covert begging, you carry the same level of respect to me as you would in other begging scenarios. However, you express it more subtly.

Ultimately begging is like any skill. The more you practice it, the better you get at it! And remember – after you’ve begged for something, and receive it, say thank you. Showing gratitude is what makes a great submissive. “Thank you for allowing me to massage your feet” or even a simple “thank you, Goddess” makes it all worthwhile.

Not Sure How to You Feel About Begging?

If you are not sure if you want to beg, or think you might be too shy to do it, just try it. You can start by imagining it – imagine begging for something you really want. Imagine how fantastic it feels for your Domme to give you something after you’ve begged for it. Fantasize about the scenario first and imagine what words you would use, what faces you wold make. Over time you will learn and grow into being a desperate, begging submissive.

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