Ancient philosopher Laozi said this about female orgasms: “the Spirit of the Valley is inexhaustible… Draw on it as you will, it never runs dry.” He was telling the truth, that women can have multiple, powerful orgasms and have the stamina to keep going. Male orgasms however are different; they can be really draining! That’s why so many cultures developed the concept of sex without male orgasm, also known as karezza.
What is Karezza?
Karezza, also known as coitus reservatus or male continence, is the ancient practice of sex without male orgasm. This already sounds like a Femdom sex practice, doesn’t it? It pairs so nicely with chastity, orgasm control and the pleasure of having a female led relationship (FLR). There are varying definitions of karezza, but the definition that I use in this post is this:
Karezza: during a sex act, one person is allowed to orgasm and the other must abstain. In a relationship with a man and a woman this means the woman has as many orgasms as she wants, but the man abstains.
A brief history of Karezza
Sex without male orgasm has been encouraged by Taoist sexual practices, Tantra, Buddhism and Chinese philosophy as a way for men to preserve their life force. These ancient cultures realized that orgasms really take a toll on men.
A look at the wikipedia on Taoist sex practices tells you: “One of the reasons women had a great deal of strength in the act of sex was that they walked away undiminished from the act. The woman had the power to bring forth life, and did not have to worry about ejaculation or refractory period.” Taoists understood that female sexuality was more powerful and could handle orgasm better than male sexuality.
In Tibeten Buddhism, the man was instructed not to cum during sex, and if he accidentally came he had to drink his own semen (I’m not making this up, I promise). Originally this was to help the man stay on the path to enlightenment and not lose life force. However, it sounds like the perfect punishment for a submissive. If he cums when he’s not allowed to, make him eat his own cum!
In 1872 Male Continence by John Humphrey Noyes was published. He advocated for birth control, men learning to control their sexuality and sex being about pleasure instead of procreation. You can read it here if you’re interested. Alice B. Stockham also supported the use of Karezza as a method of birth control, sexual empowerment for women and as a cure for “failing marriages”. This is a very brief look at historical writings on karezza, but I’m sure many couples in history have discovered it on their own. The simple reason behind this is: female sexual anatomy is more powerful than male sexual anatomy.
Male Orgasms vs Female Orgasms
Female sexual anatomy is beautiful. It can produce multiple orgasms, which last a long time, and can come from various places (the clitoris, the g spot). All with few to no side effects. Pussies are powerful! That’s why I never allow any man to compare his small cock to a clitoris. Male orgasms however, can really knock the energy out of a man.
But when you let a man orgasm, remember: it’s not his fault he gets so tired. Male sexual biology unfortunately has given men this curse. It’s a hormonal reaction beyond their control. Male orgasms release a cascade of prolactin, a sedating hormone. A study showed that males release four times more prolactin during sex-induced orgasms than during masturbatory orgasms! The evolutionary reason for this (mentioned in this study) is that falling asleep together promotes bonding with your partner (source). So, the times you do allow him to have an orgasm, make sure to give him time to rest and recover. Let him enjoy this special moment of bonding with you as he falls asleep and recuperates.
For a vibrant sex life however, you probably don’t want him to get exhausted soon after having sex. Besides feeling tired, some men get sad and gloomy after orgasm. It’s a phenomenon called post-coital tristesse. In rare cases, some men get postorgasmic illness syndrome. Notably, this syndrome affects mainly men with only 1 documented case ever occurring in a woman. Orgasms just hits men harder. That’s where karezza comes in: if you don’t let him have an orgasm, he will stay in an energized state and he can please you for as long as you want.
Female Orgasms
Female orgasms are different than male orgasms. They don’t produce a wave of exhaustion, though they can also make women sleepy. I get sleepy after I orgasm but I can have multiple orgasms first. This is easy for me because the refractory period between orgasms is so short. This article mentions that for most women it takes only seconds before they can have another orgasm, but for men it can be anywhere from minutes to days before the next orgasm is possible. That is… a long time. After orgasming once, I still have stamina to receive more pleasure. That’s why I need a partner who’s ready to give me pleasure. Pussies generally have the power to produce pleasure for much longer than a penis can.
7 benefits of Karezza
By now it should be clear that sex without male orgasm can be great. Here are the main benefits that karezza offers to anyone in an FLR or Femdom dynamic:
- There is no chance of post-coital sadness or exhaustion if he doesn’t have an orgasm. He will keep up his good mood and high energy even after sex.
- Not letting him cum can make a man wildly horny and obedient. In my experience, he drive to please will stay high and get higher the longer he doesn’t have an orgasm.
- It reinforces your power over him. You reinforce that he must stay chaste, that you control his orgasms, that he’s a cuck or the reality that you control his sexuality. Karezza is the perfect sex act for any Femdom dynamic that involves sexual intercourse.
- He has a lot of stamina and can keep pleasing you. This makes it much easier to have multiple orgasms, and to enjoy all erotic acts that you want. There’s no chance that the sex will abruptly end with you being disappointed.
- Karezza is female-centered. You decide how long you want it to last and which sex acts you want to have. Karezza is about doing the acts that give you pleasure and lead to your orgasm.
- After sex you can rest while he continues to serve you. He can massage you, bring you snacks and continue to please you because he has energy! Use him and take advantage of his high energy!
- Sex can be about much more than reaching orgasm. It can be about tease and denial or the fun of controlling him like a sex toy. Karezza can be a way to put him in his place and remind him that he is below you on the hierarchy. Sex can be a training for him to learn how to worship your body, since your orgasm is the only one that matters. Karezza is an experience that you can shape how you want.
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