In my opinion you don’t have to go to kink events to attract Dommes. You can be the man who attracts dominant women naturally. You can have the kinds of behaviors that are so charming and magnetic that dominant women want to be around you. I wrote this post on my fetlife and it got a lot of likes and positive responses, so I’ve decided to put it on my blog.
Subs! If you’re on the search for a Domme and you want to give up, don’t give up. The Domme for you is out there. Your dreams of submission can come true. Be the sub who is so charming, devoted and giving that Dommes are drawn to you. Be the sub who signals in every day life, in small ways, that you are submissive and devoted. Do nice things to women, serve them, let them lead, offer your services to them, show that you see them as authorities. Admire them openly. Seriously. This is how you attract Dominant women, or at least how you would attract dominant women like me!
Men attract dominant women in vanilla settings too
You might be surprised but a lot of the time, kinky dynamics start in vanilla settings. People meet in a totally normal context and figure out that they’re into the same lifestyle. People have figured out before that I’m a Domme, in my vanilla life. I give off small clues here and there and it gives it away. For instance, wearing a chastity key has gotten me discovered a few times. I sometimes makes jokes about sadism or putting men in cages. My work colleague noticed one of these jokes, and this is how he discovered I was a Domme. He ended up inviting me to some private kink parties. And I’ve figured out that someone is a sub in vanilla contexts many times. I notice when someone is naturally submissive and ready to serve me in vanilla contexts.
Think about how to signal your submission in small ways. Not only in kink settings, but everywhere and all the time. The mistake a lot of sub men make is to act like they’re dominant in vanilla settings, when they’re naturally sub. Dominant people usually attract submissive people as partners. If you pretend your a dominant man, you’ll attract women sure, but not dominant women. Be the sub that gives off such charming and submissive vibes that Dommes spot YOU and approach YOU.
It happens, trust me. I approach the men who I read as submissive, in regular vanilla settings all the time. I am naturally drawn to shy, submissive and bashful men. I can’t help it, I just love the chemistry.
Submissive men attract dominant women when they aren’t afraid to be themselves
There are so many times in my vanilla life that I spot a man who seems so submissive… that he stands out. I notice when a man gets shy and smiles at things I say, and it warms my heart. When men offer to carry things for me, bring me something or simple offer themselves, I notice. If a man instinctively follows my lead, waits for me to make the decisions or waits for me to lead the conversation, I always notice. These are behaviors that attract me, of course I notice them. They’re strong signals of compatibility!
When I see these behaviors, I start hoping the man is secretly a sub. And then I start fantasizing about dominating him or seeing him naked. The man who attracts dominant women isn’t afraid to signal his submission. He doesn’t need to deny it up or hide it behind some alpha performance. (Alpha behaviors are a huge turn off for me, and usually result in a weird dominance battle between me and the alpha guy trying to flirt with me). The best submissive men are not afraid to let their submission show when they’re in the presence of women.
Go and try it. Signal your submission in small ways and see how different women start to notice and approach you. Be the man who attracts dominant women. If you liked this post, you can subscribe: