I am forever stunned at how often people refer to pussies as “down there”. It’s a body part, it’s not a geographical region. It’s like complimenting someone’s eyes by saying, “those things up there look nice”. It sounds evasive and vague, and like you’re embarrassed to be saying it at all. I’ve never heard someone referring to a penis as “down there”. Can you imagine: during porn a man says “can you suck… down there?” That sounds really unerotic, doesn’t it? So please, for the love of kink don’t call a woman’s pussy “down there”.
It’s called a pussy
I like the word pussy because it gets the meaning across and sounds erotic. It doesn’t sound as clinical as words like “genitalia”. The word “vagina”, technically means just the inside (the inner canal that a penis or finger can slide into). The word vulva, technically just means the outside: the labia, the clitoris, the pubic mound. If you’re not sure what these words mean, that’s ok, you can google them and learn. It’s never too late to improve your sexual education, and good subs are subs who are ready to learn! Somehow female anatomy is still in the shadows, even sometimes in sex positive and kinky spaces. People aren’t sure what to call female genitalia so they use vague euphemisms. Let’s change that.
Personally I like the word “pussy” because it means everything. I can direct someone to put their finger “inside my pussy” or to massage “the outside of my pussy”. I use the word “vulva” if I am directing someone to massage the outside of my vulva. If I want someone to kiss my clitoris, I say “kiss my clitoris”. I don‘t say “please kiss…. uh down there… lick my lower region…”. Another word you can use is “yoni”, which comes from tantra. The word “yoni” also means the entire female sex organ, including the inside and the outside. There are other terms I’ve heard, like “naughty bits” but really I prefer the words, pussy, vulva, vagina. There’s a funny song on youtube where a woman in a glittering dress, stands on stage and sings all the euphemisms for vaginas. They’re funny and make a good song (I like the term “super sonic rocket socket”), but I wouldn’t use most of these words for my own pussy.
Why I don’t like the term “down there”
Calling a pussy “down there” sounds evasive. It’s like you’re afraid to look at it, talk about it, say it out loud. But I don’t blame anyone who says it. Society still needs to catch up with more words for female genitalia. Still, the sooner you get comfortable calling a pussy by one of its names, the better. Personally I think most people sound less sexually confident if they can’t refer to a body part by it’s name. It makes the mood a bit weird. It’s like we’re discussing something secret, something we’re not supposed to admit is in the room. We can only reference it by mentioning its location. But all we’re talking about is my pussy. It’s definitely gonna be hard for me to orgasm if I hear someone refer to my pussy with a vague euphemism.
Just remember, you call the inside a vagina, the outside a vulva, and the whole thing is a pussy. This gets the meaning across. If you’re with a Domme who has a specific term she wants you to use, use that. Almost any word for a pussy is better than calling it “down there”.
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