Submissive men have always flocked to me, since I was a teenager. That’s good, because I love submissive men. But I’ve also met mean who craved submission from the bottom of their souls but couldn’t admit it. The worst is a man who pretends to be an “alpha man” but is obviously submissive man in denial of the truth. This kind of man clearly prefers when a woman takes charge, but still forces some kind of “dominant male” persona. This is the worst scenario for a submissive man to be in, because while you desperately crave to be with a dominant woman, you still perform the “alpha” routine which turns her off. Are you a submissive man in denial of the truth? Keep reading and see if any of this looks familiar to you…
You love when the woman leads the interaction
When you go on a date, you’re feel under pressure to decide where to go, and you prefer if she chooses. You feel more at ease when she starts the conversation, and when she asks the questions, when she chooses the topic of conversation. Does this sound like you?
Here is a thought experiment: if a woman approaches you, flirts with you, compliments you, touches your arm or chest. How do you feel about this? Do you feel flattered? Do you feel a bit bothered that you’re not the one who is leading the interaction? Do you feel ecstatic at the idea that the woman approached you, took charge and made it clear that she wants you? If the answer is the last one, you might be submissive.
In my experience being the woman in this thought experiment, the more ecstatic the man is when he gets approached, the more likely he is to be submissive. I often approach shy men, and I love the way they respond when I approach them. They fall under my spell and they seem almost like they’re high. They try to be subtle, but I still see it, and wow it makes the chemistry amazing. Maybe some of them don’t even realize they are submissive, or are in denial of it. It’s better to admit it to yourself!
You love to be commanded during sex but you deny it
This doesn’t 100% mean you’re a submissive. In fact I think a lot of men love following the guidance of their partners. This is a great quality to have. Wanting your partner to have sexual pleasure is a sign that you’re a good partner. But, the more strongly you feel about it, the more likely it is you’re submissive. If it makes you nervous to take charge during sex, if you love it when she tells you exactly what to do and how, if you get joy our of seeing her command you during sex, you’re probably a least a little submissive. Embrace it, and be the best submissive man you can be.
Other signs that you’re a submissive man in denial: You take control during sex but it stresses you out. You think of all the sex moves beforehand because it’s hard to think of it as you go. You really worry that you’re partner isn’t pleased, but you still try to direct each sex move because you think you have to. If this sounds like you, maybe you’re a submissive man in denial of you’re true nature. I’ve talked to guys like this, who try to play the “alpha” part, even when they clearly just want to be told what to do. I always think, he would be so much happier if he just accepted his submissive nature.
You surround yourself with powerful women but deny that you want to submit to them
I knew a guy who was desperate to please women. He wasn’t a people-pleaser in general, he just transformed into one immediately when he was around confident women. Being a shy guy he was often nervous, but he became immediately at ease when women told him what to do. He worshiped all the intelligent and successful women in his life. This guy claimed he wasn’t a sub… and yet, three of his ex-girlfriends were professional Dommes. I don’t think that was a coincidence. He was a sub, and he was just in denial. He surrounded himself with powerful women because that’s where he belonged: under the power of a dominant woman.
Maybe you don’t intentionally surround yourself with powerful women, but somehow it keeps happening. You always end up talking to the most confident woman in the room, while overlooking the more quiet ones. Or at an event, your eyes keep moving to the loudest or most commanding woman there. You’re often attracted to powerful, commanding women and continue to deny that this is what makes them so attractive to you. You’re subconsciously moving toward powerful women, following the magnetic force that draws you to them. Deep in your mind, you know you’re meant to submit to a powerful woman.
Powerful women have left lasting memories in you
Most of the submissive men I’ve met have special memories from their teenage or early adulthood years. The memory of how some dominant woman walked in, electrified their soul and stole their heart. Years later, they still remember her because she stamped her impression into their minds.
Maybe this dominant woman was a teacher, lifeguard, police officer, neighbor, your friend’s sister, or your first boss (just some examples from sub men’s life stories). She took charge and told you what to do, or maybe she evaluated you or even scolded you. And as she did this…. you fell under her spell. Her presence was so unique and powerful that you never forgot her. Maybe there was a celebrity or movie character who made this impression on you. You felt pure, raw attraction to her and didn’t understand why. Do you have a memory like this?
Maybe you’re not a submissive man in denial, maybe you just have one special memory like this. But, if you have several memories like this… you’re starting to seem pretty submissive. If you have several memories like this but you’re still playing the role of totally vanilla (unkinky) man, you’re a submissive man in denial.
If you could be submissive, without anyone knowing, you would do it
This is the real test of your desires: imagine being in another city, maybe even another country where you know 100% nobody knows you. An opportunity appears to submit to a powerful woman. Do you accept this opportunity?
Imagine your favorite celebrity. If you could spend the day being commanded around, kissing her feet, serving her food and drinks on trays like a servant, waiting for her next command… would you want to do it? How about if you went on a date with a woman who revealed to you that she likes to dominate men. Would you jump at the opportunity to be that man, under her feet?
If you could end up in a female led relationship, with your partner making all the rules, commanding you, using you for her pleasure, and you knew that no one would know… would you want this? If the answer is yes, you are submissive. The only thing stopping you is your own fears and uncertainties. Are you a submissive man in denial of the truth? After getting to the end of this article is your denial starting to fade away?
If you’re no longer a submissive man in denial of the truth… what should you do now?
Enter into the world of BDSM and discover how you can be the best sub you can be. You can start a fetlife account and contact dominant women (read my tips for this). Go to BDSM workshops, parties and munches. Or… you can simply open your eyes and be on the lookout for powerful women in your life. Submissive men often naturally flock to powerful women, and powerful women love to see submissive, devoted men being their true selves. I know I love it. Go out there and be your true self (but remember to follow the basic rules of etiquette). See how good your life becomes when you are no longer in denial of the truth!
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